Who am i?: August 2025

The Power of Forgiveness: A Path to Healing and Harmony

Have you ever found yourself weighed down by anger or resentment, caught in a web of memories that refuse to let go? Forgiveness may seem elusive, especially when the wounds run deep or the grievances are close to the heart. Yet, as countless stories and reflections reveal, forgiveness is not a sign of weakness—it's one of humanity's bravest acts of strength and liberation.

The Transformative Power of Letting Go

Letting go is an emotional process. It often begins with acknowledging the pain and allowing oneself to feel the intensity of betrayal, hurt, or sadness. This vulnerability is not defeat but the first courageous step toward healing. By choosing to walk through these emotions, we eventually reach a place where anger fades, acceptance grows, and bitterness loses its grip on our hearts. This transformation is what sets forgiveness apart—it's a conscious choice to release ourselves from the bondage of the past, making room for peace and new beginnings.

Rebuilding Relationships and Society

Forgiveness is the bridge to reconciliation. When we shed prejudices and let empathy replace judgment, relationships have the chance to mend and flourish. Healing from family rifts or disputes requires more than time; it demands understanding, dialogue, and the willingness to forgive, even if apologies are not offered. On a societal level, forgiveness teaches entire communities how to resolve conflicts without cycles of revenge, ultimately fostering unity, trust, and resilience.

The Gift of Emotional Freedom

Above all, forgiveness is a gift we offer ourselves. The emotional freedom gained—reduced stress, improved well-being, greater happiness—can be life-changing. Holding on to grudges drains energy that could otherwise nurture love, creativity, and growth. By letting go, individuals reclaim power over their lives, learn valuable lessons, and develop deeper emotional strength to face future challenges.

Ready for a Visual Experience?

If these themes of healing, reconciliation, and emotional freedom resonate deeply, there’s an exceptional way to see them come alive—visually and dramatically. If you wish to witness the journey of forgiveness and transformation with heartfelt storytelling and memorable characters, consider watching Sathyam Sundaram (2024). This film masterfully weaves the essence of everything discussed above: the struggle to forgive, the beauty in reconnecting, and the profound sense of liberation that follows. If you're moved by the message of this blog, the movie offers an unforgettable, cinematic exploration of forgiveness, making it the perfect next chapter for anyone seeking inspiration and emotional clarity.

🌗 When Principles Bend: The Truth About What Really Guides Us

We often like to believe our lives are shaped by unshakable principles. We say, “I stand for honesty, passion, tradition.” But in reality, those principles bend more often than we admit.

As I once put into words:

💭 “Be it decisions, revisions, or beliefs we uphold—each is shaped not by principle, but by what suits us best.”

This isn’t cynicism. It’s a mirror. Let me walk you through how this truth quietly plays out in our daily lives.

1️⃣ Careers: Passion vs. Pay check

We all say “follow your passion.” Yet when bills, responsibilities, and family expectations weigh in, passion often steps aside. Stability takes the driver’s seat. Not because passion is worthless, but because security suits us better than uncertainty.

2️⃣ Honesty: A Principle on Trial

Honesty is a principle I value deeply. Still, life shows me how easily it bends. A résumé gap, a white lie to avoid conflict—these moments reveal that honesty often competes with practicality. And in many cases, survival suits us better than strict truth.

3️⃣ Culture & Family: Flexible Traditions

Traditions give us identity. But when those same traditions stand in the way of peace, they bend. I’ve seen families oppose inter-community marriages in theory, but accept them when it’s their own child. Why? Because harmony suits them better than conflict.

4️⃣ Parenting: The Screen-Time Exception

Parents (myself included) love to set rules: “No screens!” But after a draining day, giving a child a phone for a few quiet minutes feels acceptable. The rule remains, but convenience suits the situation better.

5️⃣ Politics: Shifting Stances

Politics is perhaps the clearest mirror. Leaders who oppose a policy while in opposition often support it when in power. Principles don’t change—the context does. And advantage suits them best.

🌱 The Human Compass

So what does this mean? Are we all hypocrites? I don’t think so.

To me, this reflects the reality of being human: we adapt. Our values guide us, yes—but life constantly demands balance between ideals and circumstances. Principles give direction, but convenience often steers the wheel.

It’s not weakness—it’s survival, it’s adjustment, it’s the quiet flexibility that allows us to move forward.

✨ Reflection for You
Pause for a moment and ask yourself:

Which of your principles have bent when life tested them?
Did it feel like compromise, or survival?
And if principles are flexible, what remains your unshakable core?

💬 I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments. Your reflections might just help someone else make peace with their own choices.

📌 Written by Kesari Babu, in collaboration with AI — a reminder that technology can sharpen human reflections, but the heart of the thought is always ours.

The Circles of Life and the Threads of Connection

In this vast universe, everything is bound together by invisible strings of interdependence. From the tiniest microorganism that quietly sustains life to the majestic blue whale that roams the oceans, each being plays its part in the grand design. Children lean on parents, siblings turn to each other, friendships cradle us in times of need, and even the fiercest predator survives by relying on another life.

Yet, despite this undeniable truth, we humans often carry the illusion of independence. We believe we live by our own rules, shaping our lives without leaning on anyone else. But look closer — no one truly stands alone. Life unfolds in circles: the circle of family, the circle of friends, the circle of work, the circle of society. Some circles overlap with ours, weaving us into shared experiences, while others remain distant yet still shape the rhythm of existence. Each circle touches us, influences us, and leaves an imprint, whether we choose to see it or not.

As we walk this journey, we discover that life is a tapestry woven with countless threads. Some threads enter gently, like a breeze brushing past on a warm day. Some fade away like distant echoes, leaving behind faint traces of their presence. A few threads twine themselves into our hearts, becoming cherished parts of who we are. Others settle quietly in the back of our memory, present yet no longer alive. Some shadows follow us in silence, while some lights guide us like angels in the night.

And so, we learn the truth — no connection is permanent. No one can be compelled to stay forever. To believe you are solely responsible for someone’s existence is an illusion, a weight born of assumption. Every person carries their own circles, their own places of belonging, their own sources of strength and support. You may walk beside them for a time, you may hold space in their story, but you are never the entirety of it.

The beauty of connection lies not in possession or permanence, but in presence. To love, to care, to invest in another human being — even knowing that not every effort will be recognized or reciprocated — is to give freely from the wellspring of your own heart. It is to accept that not all circles intersect forever, and yet, while they do, they are worth embracing.

Respecting boundaries becomes an act of love. Honoring the other circles in someone’s life becomes an act of humility. Cherishing those who walk beside you, for however long they choose to, becomes an act of gratitude.

But above all, the journey teaches us one final truth: through every intersection, every departure, every fleeting or enduring bond, there is one companion who never leaves — yourself. You are the constant thread in your tapestry, the witness to every circle, the keeper of every memory. And in recognizing that, you find both freedom and peace.

— kesaribabu

Your Religion Doesn't Own Your Language.

A Gentle Note Before You Read:

The thoughts I share here touch upon two of the most personal and sensitive aspects of our lives: our faith and our language. My intention is not to criticise or disrespect any specific tradition, belief, or community. In fact, it is the opposite. This piece comes from a place of deep respect for all paths and a sincere hope for greater understanding and unity among us. I hope you will read it in the spirit in which it was written—as an invitation to a conversation, aimed at dissolving walls, not building new ones.

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The Essence We Often Forget

Prayer and Language: Bridges, Not Boundaries

A few days ago, I put down some thoughts on a topic that sits close to my heart: the true purpose of prayer and language. I wrote about how these beautiful gifts, meant to connect us, have often been turned into walls that divide us. The core idea was simple: we must return them to their essence.

Since then, these thoughts have continued to echo in my mind, prompting me to explore them a little further with you. Why have we allowed this to happen? And more importantly, how do we begin to find our way back?

The Container and the Contents

It seems to me that as societies, we have fallen in love with the container and forgotten the contents.

Think about it. Prayer, at its heart, is about the feeling it is meant to evoke—humility, gratitude, a quiet connection to something larger than ourselves. That is the content. The form it takes—the specific words, the direction we face, the rituals we perform—is merely the container. Yet, we have become so fiercely protective of the container that we sometimes end up fighting over it, forgetting the shared human feeling it was meant to hold. We judge others for the shape of their container, while the precious content within is ignored.

Language is no different. Its content is the meaning, the emotion, the idea we wish to share. The specific dialect or script is the container. When we insist that a child must learn the language of their "community" even when it isolates them from their neighbours, we are saying the container matters more than the connection it is supposed to facilitate. We are choosing a label over a conversation.

The Human Need for a Tribe

But why do we do this? I believe it comes from a place that is deeply human: the need for a tribe, for safety, for a sense of belonging. This instinct is not malicious. It is the simple, human search for a home, for a "we". Our shared rituals and common tongue become the warm, familiar walls of that home.

The danger arises when our "we" is defined only by who is "not we". The walls of our home should be for shelter, not for imprisonment. They should have windows and doors, allowing us to see and connect with the homes of others.

Some might say, "But Kesari, are these traditions not essential for preserving our culture?" And they are absolutely right. The goal is not to erase our unique cultural identities. A garden is beautiful because of its many different flowers, not because it has only one. But preservation should never mean isolation. We must cherish our heritage, but we must do so with open arms. We must see our language and our prayers as our unique colour in a magnificent, shared rainbow—not as a flag for a separate army.

Finding Our Way Back

So, how do we begin to change this mindset? The change, as always, begins within us and with our children.

It begins when we teach a child that the goal of prayer is to become a kinder person, not just a better follower of a specific label. It begins when we encourage that same child to learn the language of their playmates, to build bridges of friendship in their own neighbourhood.

It happens when we, as adults, make an effort to understand the essence behind a tradition that is not our own. Listen to a prayer from another faith and try to feel the devotion behind the unfamiliar words. Learn a few phrases in the language of the person who sells you your vegetables.

These are small acts, but they are revolutionary. They are acts that reclaim the true purpose of these gifts. They remind us that before we are Hindu, Muslim, Christian, or anything else, we are human. And before we speak Telugu, Urdu, Hindi, or English, we speak the universal language of human experience.

Let us not be defined by the walls we build, but by the hands we extend across them. For in the end, the most sacred language is kindness, and the most powerful prayer is an open heart.

The Unseen Symphony of the 'Too Much' Soul

Are you the one who feels everything a little too deeply? The one whose love isn't just a statement, but a series of unending actions? If you see yourself in the words—over-thinker, over-giver, over-caretaker, over-sensitive, over-obedient, over-sacrificer, over-adjuster—then this is for you.

This isn't about a flaw. This is about a choice. You have chosen your people—your family, your partner, your closest friends—and for them, you orchestrate a silent symphony of devotion.

The Architecture of Your Love

Your love is not a passive emotion; it's a living, breathing entity built on a foundation of 'over'.

As an over-giver and over-caretaker, your generosity isn't a transaction; it's your nature. You find joy in filling someone else’s cup, often forgetting that yours is running low. You are the keeper of needs, the pre-emptor of problems, the one who shows up before they are even called.
As an over-thinker and over-sensitive soul, your mind and heart work in tandem. You analyze every word, every silence, not out of suspicion, but out of a deep desire to understand and protect the emotional harmony of those you love. You feel their joys as exhilarating highs and their sorrows as your own personal weight.
As an over-adjuster, over-sacrificer, and over-silent presence, you are the master of compromise. You bend so others don't have to. You put your needs, your dreams, and your voice on a lower shelf to make space for theirs. You believe that peace for your chosen people is a price worth paying, even when the currency is your own comfort. You are the quiet architect of everyone else's stability.

You do this not because you are weak, but because your capacity for love is immense. You have chosen a select few to pour this ocean of devotion into. It is a conscious, albeit exhausting, choice.

The Painful Misunderstanding: How the World Sees You

But here lies the silent paradox, the quiet heartbreak that often accompanies your nature. The recipients of your symphony, and the world watching, often misinterpret the music entirely.

They don't see the depth; they see a bottomless well.

They see your constant giving and assume:

"They are always free." They don't see the cancelled plans, the pushed-aside hobbies, or the late nights you sacrifice. They see an open schedule, not a rearranged one.
"They have plenty to give." They mistake your generosity for infinite resources—of time, energy, and emotion. They don't realize you are giving from your core, not from your surplus.
"They are born with a golden spoon or have no work of their own." They cannot comprehend that your service comes from a place of love, so they rationalize it as a lack of personal ambition or responsibility. They mistake your sacrifice for a sign that you have nothing important of your own to sacrifice.
"It's just their passion or a timepass." They categorize your deep-seated care as a mere hobby, something you do for fun. They think, "Once they get a 'real' life, they'll stop."
"They are too timid or scared to say no." This is perhaps the most painful cut. They mistake your profound willingness for a profound weakness. They believe your silence is an inability to speak, not a conscious choice to listen. They see your obedience not as a tribute to your love, but as a lack of a backbone.

They fail to understand that your 'over' is a testament to your loyalty. It is a language of love that not everyone is fluent in.

The Truth in Your Heart

Let's set the record straight.

You are not workless; your heart is working overtime. You are not aimless; your aim is the happiness of your chosen few. You are not weak; it takes incredible strength to constantly put others before yourself. You are not free; you are consciously dedicating your precious time to what—and who—you value most.

Your silence is not an absence of opinion, but a presence of patience. Your adjustments are not a lack of desire, but an abundance of love.

A Note to the Giver, and a Plea to the Receiver

To you, the beautiful 'over-much' soul: Please, remember to save a little of that magic for yourself. Your cup needs to be filled too. Your voice deserves its own melody. Setting a boundary is not selfish; it is an act of self-preservation that ensures you can continue to give sustainably. Your worth is not defined by the weight of your sacrifices. You are worthy simply because you are.

To those who are loved by such a soul: Recognize the gift you have been given. The care you receive is not common; it is a rare and precious gem. Do not mistake their vast heart for a vacant life. Ask them about their day. Inquire about their dreams. Fill their cup, listen to their silence, and understand that their strength is quiet, but it is monumental. Appreciate the symphony, for it is being played just for you.

You, the over-giver, the over-lover, the over-everything—you are not 'too much.' You are profoundly, beautifully, and powerfully enough.

Yourself vs. Others: The Modern Generation's High-Stakes Reality

In my last post, we explored the timeless dance between living for yourself and living for others, concluding that the true art lies in balancing both. But what does this dance look like today, for a generation navigating a world of unprecedented opportunity and immense pressure?

The philosophical choice has become a high-stakes, everyday reality. The two extremes are no longer just concepts; they are the lived stories of millions. Let's look at these modern struggles, often reflected in the news and in the homes around us.

The High Cost of "My Dream, My Rules"

This is the extreme of "living for yourself," where the pursuit of a dream becomes an all-consuming fire, sometimes burning the bridges that lead back home.

Real-Life Incident: The Urban Migrant's Dilemma We often read headlines or hear stories that follow a familiar pattern: A bright young person from a small town moves to a metropolitan hub like Mumbai, Bengaluru, or even abroad, chasing a dream—a startup, a creative career, a better life. They pour their youth, energy, and finances into this goal.

The Justification: This is the ultimate act of self-belief. They are betting on themselves, striving for a future their parents could only imagine. They argue, "If I don't do this now, I'll regret it forever. I'm doing this for our family's future, too."
The Hidden Cost: The news often focuses on the success story, but less is said about the aging parents left behind. In the pursuit of one dream, a fundamental responsibility is often neglected. We see a rise in social isolation among the elderly whose children, their traditional support system, are cities or continents away. The child justifies the distance as necessary for success, while the parents bear the silent cost of that success: loneliness. The child is not malicious; they are simply trapped in a cycle of achieving a dream and then working tirelessly to justify the cost of that dream.

The Silent Sacrifice: When "For Others" Goes Too Far

This is the other extreme, where an individual's life becomes a compromise, a constant negotiation with the expectations of family and society.

Real-Life Incident 1: The Weight of a Parent's Dream This is a tragically common story in India. A child with a passion for arts, music, or sports is gently—or forcefully—pushed into preparing for engineering or medical entrance exams.

The Justification: The parents are not villains in their own story. They justify their actions out of love and fear. They say, "We know what's best. We want you to have a secure, respectable life, something we never had." They are restricting their child's dream for what they perceive as the greater good of the child's future and the family's stability.
The Hidden Cost: The child, fearing to disappoint or burden their family, compromises their "self" entirely. They spend their life in a career they have no passion for, often leading to depression and a sense of a life unlived. They have lived "for others" so completely that their own identity is erased.

Real-Life Incident 2: The Hidden Life and the Fear of Society This is perhaps the most painful form of self-neglect. Consider the countless stories of individuals from the LGBTQ+ community in conservative societies.

The Justification: Out of fear of social ostracism, bringing "shame" to their family, or even physical harm, they hide their true identity. They agree to arranged heterosexual marriages and live a life that society deems acceptable. The family justifies this by prioritizing "log kya kahenge?" (What will people say?) over their own child's happiness.
The Hidden Cost: This is the ultimate sacrifice of self for the sake of others' comfort. It's a life sentence of inauthenticity. These individuals are not just compromising a career choice; they are negating the very core of who they are. Their entire existence becomes an act of service to a societal norm that denies their right to love and be loved as they are.

Finding the Bridge in a Divided World

So, what is the answer? These are not easy situations with simple solutions. However, the path forward starts with courageous communication.

For the Dream-Chaser: The goal isn't to abandon your dream but to integrate your roots. It means consciously scheduling video calls, making trips home a non-negotiable priority, and having open conversations about the emotional cost on both sides. It's replacing guilt with active, intentional connection.
For the Sacrificer: The path begins with healthy selfishness. It’s finding the courage to have one honest conversation with your parents about your passions. It's seeking out support groups or friends who see you for who you are. It’s realizing that your happiness is not a betrayal of your family, but a necessary component of a healthy life.

These modern dilemmas show that the dance between self and others is more complex than ever. The choice isn't just about philosophy; it's about navigating love, duty, ambition, and identity. The challenge for this generation is to find that elusive middle path—one where our dreams don't force us to abandon our people, and our people don't force us to abandon our dreams.

– kesaribabu (with AI (Gemini) assistance)

The Two Paths: Are You Living for Yourself, or for Others?

Have you ever paused amidst the rush of daily life and wondered what it’s all for? At its core, life often feels like it presents us with a simple, yet profound choice:

Live for yourself.
Live for others.

It’s a dilemma that has echoed through philosophy, art, and our own quiet moments of reflection. But is the choice really so black and white? Let's explore these two fundamental paths.

The Inward Journey: The Case for Living for Yourself

Let's call this the path of self-actualization. It’s the journey of discovering who you are, what you’re capable of, and what brings you genuine fulfillment.

The Power of this Path: This is the path of the student honing their intellect, the artist perfecting their craft, the entrepreneur building a vision from scratch. It’s about cultivating your talents, healing your own wounds, and building a life of stability and strength. There is immense wisdom in this, captured perfectly by the old adage: "You cannot pour from an empty cup." By strengthening yourself—mentally, financially, and spiritually—you become a more resilient and capable person, ready to face the world.

The Shadow Side: Taken to its extreme, however, this path can lead to a gilded cage of selfishness. A life lived only for the self can become isolating. You might achieve every goal you set, only to find yourself on a lonely summit with no one to share the view. It’s the hollow victory of winning a game no one else was playing.

The Outward Journey: The Call to Live for Others

This is the path of connection, compassion, and community. It’s about shifting the focus from "me" to "we" and finding purpose in service.

The Beauty of this Path: This is the path of the parent who sacrifices for their child, the doctor who heals the sick, the activist who fights for a better world. Living for others is the glue that holds society together. It provides a profound sense of meaning that personal achievements often can't touch. To contribute to something larger than yourself is to create a legacy of kindness and impact that ripples out far beyond your own life.

The Risk of Losing Yourself: But this path, too, has its dangers. A life lived only for others, with no regard for your own needs, is a recipe for burnout. It can lead to resentment and a complete loss of your own identity. Becoming a martyr helps no one in the long run; giving until there is nothing left leaves you unable to help yourself or anyone else.

The Great Illusion: Why You Don’t Have to Choose

Here is the truth that changes everything: This "choice" is an illusion.

The two paths are not mutually exclusive; they are profoundly intertwined. They are like breathing. You must inhale (live for yourself) and you must exhale (live for others). To only do one is to perish.

Think about it:

A doctor who studies tirelessly for years (living for herself) gains the skill to save countless lives (living for others).
An artist who spends solitary hours mastering their craft (living for himself) creates art that can inspire and move millions (living for others).
A parent who takes time for self-care (living for themselves) becomes a more patient and present parent (living for others).

Living for yourself enables you to give more effectively. And living for others gives deep meaning and purpose to your personal journey.

Finding Your Balance: The Art of the Interwoven Life

So, the real challenge isn’t to pick a path. The real challenge is to walk both paths at once. It’s a dynamic dance, a constant balancing act that you get to choreograph every single day.

Some days will be about the inhale—about learning, growing, resting, and recharging. Other days will be about the exhale—about giving, serving, supporting, and connecting.

The choice is not to pick a side, but to learn the art of the dance. It's about building a self that is strong enough to support others, and dedicating yourself to a purpose that nourishes your own soul.

So, I leave you with a question: How are you balancing the inhale and the exhale in your own life today?

– kesaribabu

The Changing Window for Influence: Guiding Without Losing Them

The Fine Line Between Guidance and Control

In every close relationship — whether between parent and child, mentor and student, siblings, or friends — there’s a delicate balance between helping someone and holding them back.

Most control begins with good intentions. We want to protect our loved ones, save them from mistakes, and guide them toward what we believe is the best path. Sometimes, we even do it gently and gracefully, convinced our intentions will be understood.

We tell ourselves, “I’ve walked this path before. I know where it leads.” So we try to redirect them, nudge them, and sometimes even stop them.

But here’s the part we often don’t realize until it’s too late:

The more you try to control someone’s life, the more you risk losing your place in it — first emotionally, then physically.

When Good Intentions Still Hurt

Even the kindest form of control can feel like a cage to the person on the receiving end. It’s not always about how softly you say it — it’s about whether they feel free to choose for themselves.

In today’s connected world, people have unprecedented access to information, learning, and opportunities. Many feel they can learn anything, anytime, without constant guidance. So when we try to direct every step of their journey, they may not see love — they may see mistrust.

One day, they might even say:

“I’ve never met anyone like you… and I hope no one will match you in the future in terms of control or restrictions.”

It’s a statement that can both warm and wound — a recognition of your uniqueness, yet also a confession that they felt restricted by it.

The Changing Window of Influence

Human nature follows a pattern: the younger and more dependent a person is, the more they accept guidance; the older and more independent they become, the less control they tolerate. In earlier times — even just a few decades ago — parents and elders could guide, and sometimes even control, children well into their twenties, and it was seen as natural.

But in today’s fast-changing world — especially in this era of smartphones, social media, and instant information — that timeline has shortened drastically. The window for effective and accepted guidance has shifted.

0–10 years (Early years)
During this stage, guidance and even restrictions are usually accepted without much resistance. Dependence on parents or elders is high, and trust in you comes naturally. Children genuinely believe that every decision you make is for their benefit.
At this age, you can guide, set rules, and enforce boundaries quite firmly without it being seen as “control.” They still rely heavily on you for decision-making and rarely question your intentions.
11–15 years (Adolescence)
This is the stage where opinions begin to take shape and curiosity grows stronger. Children start comparing your guidance with what they hear from friends, teachers, media, and their own observations.
Influence during these years works only when paired with clear reasoning. Without explanations, rules can feel unfair and trigger resistance. This is also the “negotiation age” — guidance still works, but control starts to feel restrictive. You need to explain the why behind boundaries, or you risk sparking quiet defiance or open rebellion.
16–18 years (Young adulthood)
At this stage, restrictions often feel like mistrust. Independence becomes a priority, yet the need for emotional and practical support is still strong. The most effective approach is collaborative guidance — offer options, discuss possible consequences, and respect their final choices.
When you involve them in decision-making, they feel valued and trusted. But excessive control during these years almost always creates mental distance, which can later grow into emotional separation.
18+ years (Adulthood)
Decisions are now fully self-owned. At this stage, any attempt to control will almost certainly strain — or even break — the bond. Guidance works only when it is respectful, optional, and rooted in mutual trust. People are far more likely to listen to those who share real experiences and perspectives than to those who dictate rules.
You can still set boundaries within your own space, but beyond that, their choices are theirs to make. Trying to impose your will often results in secretive behaviour or complete emotional distancing.

In short:
Firm control works only till about age 10, guided restrictions till 15, and after that — only respectful advice if you want to keep the relationship warm.

Why Control Fails

Control, no matter how well-intentioned, clashes with a deep human need — autonomy. People want to feel trusted, capable, and free to make their own decisions. When you control, you send an unspoken message: “I don’t trust you to handle this.” That message chips away at closeness.

Even as children, when we hear, “Don’t touch that!” without explanation, our curiosity often grows stronger. Without reasoning, restrictions trigger resistance — rebellion, secrecy, or quiet withdrawal.

Control also creates a one-sided relationship where one person commands and the other complies. Over time, the compliant person loses ownership of their own life, and resentment builds. When they finally get the chance to break free, it’s often sudden and complete, leaving little room for reconciliation.

How to Guide Without Losing Them

Guidance is different. It’s rooted in respect and partnership. It says: “I care, I have experience to share, but I trust you to decide.” This simple shift preserves dignity while still allowing you to influence.

Here’s how to make it work:

Offer wisdom, not orders.
Share lessons from your own life — both good and bad — rather than dictating choices.
Example: Instead of “Don’t quit this job,” say, “When I left a job too soon once, I faced unexpected struggles. Here’s what happened…”
Explain the “why.”
People are more open to restrictions when they understand the reason. “I’m concerned for your safety because…” invites understanding; “Don’t do it” invites resistance.
Allow room for mistakes.
Some lessons can’t be taught, only lived. Let them take calculated risks, knowing you’ll be there if they need support.
Set personal boundaries, not life rules.
Protect your space and peace, but don’t micromanage their life. Boundaries maintain respect without strangling independence.
Ask before advising.

“Would you like my perspective?” makes advice more welcome. Requested guidance is far more effective than unsolicited instructions.
Listen deeply.
Many times, people just need to be heard. Listening without judgment can bring them closer and help them find their own answers.
Acknowledge wise choices.
Praise independent, thoughtful decisions. Recognition builds confidence and makes them more open to your input in the future.

The Golden Rule of Guidance

The most effective guidance creates a space where the other person feels respected, trusted, and supported — not managed. The moment your advice begins to feel like a cage, the bond begins to weaken.

Guidance is not about leading from the front and pulling them along; it’s about walking beside them and, when necessary, stepping slightly behind so they can lead while knowing you’re still there.

A Hopeful Perspective

The role of guidance doesn’t end when direct control fades — it simply evolves. In a world that’s changing faster than ever, the relationships that thrive are those where trust and respect grow alongside independence.

Yes, influence has a window. But love, respect, and connection? They can last a lifetime if we adapt our approach.

When you replace control with collaboration, restrictions with reasoning, and commands with conversations, you don’t just guide someone’s choices — you become part of their inner circle, even when the world outside is loud.

And when they look back, they won’t remember the times you controlled them; they’ll remember the times you stood beside them, believed in them, and helped them steer their own course. That’s the kind of influence that never expires.

💔 When Friendship Feels Like a Contest: Navigating Emotional Overlap in Gen Z Circles

In a world where friendships are formed in seconds, shared in stories, and sometimes lost in silence, Gen Z is redefining what closeness means. But with this fluidity comes a quiet complexity—especially when multiple close friends exist in the same emotional orbit, aware of each other, aware of their place, and quietly wondering if they still matter.

This isn’t about drama. It’s about emotional displacement, unspoken comparisons, and the ache of feeling replaced—even when no one says it out loud.

Let’s talk about the triangle. Not the love triangle. The friendship triangle—where one person becomes the emotional centre, and others orbit with hope, insecurity, and sometimes satire.

🧠 The Emotional Triangle: What It Really Feels Like

Imagine this:

You form a deep bond with someone. You feel seen, chosen, safe. But then you discover they have other close friends—people they also call “best,” people they meet without you, people who know about you but don’t include you.

Suddenly, you’re not sure where you stand.

Are you still special? Or just another name in their contact list?

And if you’re the person in the center—trying to balance multiple close friendships—you feel the pressure too.

You want to be honest, but you don’t want to hurt anyone.

You want to stay close, but you don’t want to choose sides.

You want to keep everyone, but you’re afraid of losing someone.

🎭 Satire, Silence, and the Subtle Signs of Hurt

When emotional displacement sets in, it rarely comes with confrontation. It comes with:

Satirical comments: “Is your best okay?”
Passive withdrawal: Less texting, less sharing, more distance.
Performative closeness: Acting fine, but feeling replaced.

These are not petty reactions. They’re emotional defence mechanisms—ways to cope with the fear of being forgotten.

“When friendship becomes a contest for significance, the heart forgets how to rest.”

🧭 How the Central Person Can Lead with Integrity

If you’re the one in the middle, here’s how to navigate the overlap without breaking hearts:

Be transparent: Don’t hide connections. Let each friend know they matter.
Avoid emotional inflation: Saying “you’re my best among best” feels good, but can mislead. Use words that reflect reality, not fantasy.
Create distinct spaces: Every bond deserves its own rhythm. Don’t make friends feel interchangeable.
Invite honesty: If someone jokes about being replaced, ask gently: “Are you feeling left out?”

🪞 How the Others Can Respond with Emotional Maturity

If you’re one of the friends feeling displaced, here’s what you need to remember:

Don’t take titles to heart: Being called “best” is beautiful, but it’s not a guarantee. Accept it with warmth, not entitlement.
Ask, don’t assume: If you feel left out, speak up. Don’t let satire replace sincerity.
Know the full story: Understand the emotional terrain before claiming territory.
Own your emotions: Feeling replaced is valid. But healing begins when you express it, not suppress it.

“To be chosen is a gift. To stay chosen requires grace.”

🛑 The One Rule for Everyone: If You Choose to Stay, Stay Fully

This is the most important truth of all:

If you choose to be with someone—friend, sibling, partner—be with them fully.

Don’t measure reciprocity before offering presence.

Don’t punish them for not loving you in the exact way you imagined.

Because real friendship isn’t transactional. It’s transformational.

🌱 Final Advice to Gen Z: Slow Down, Speak Up, Stay Real

In a generation that moves fast, feels deeply, and connects widely, here’s what you need to remember:

Don’t form multiple close friendships too quickly after a shift—relocation, breakup, or emotional change.
Try not to make anyone feel like they were replaced.
Be honest and transparent—even if it’s bitter to digest.
Speak before the silence becomes permanent.

Because the most painful goodbye is the one that was never spoken—only felt.

✨ Closing Reflection

“Friendship is not a throne to sit on—it’s a garden to tend. And in a garden, every flower matters, even if it blooms at a different time.”

So whether you’re the centre or the edge, the chosen or the displaced, remember:

You’re not competing. You’re coexisting.

And coexistence requires courage, clarity, and compassion.

*Written by Kesari Babu, with creative collaboration from AI Copilot—where reflection meets resonance.

Silent Stares and Social Media Confessions: Understanding Gen Z's Communication Shift

What's with that look? It's a question many of us from older generations might find ourselves asking when interacting with today's youth, often dubbed "Gen Z." Born and raised in the digital age, their communication landscape is vastly different from the one we navigated growing up. This shift has been further amplified by global events like the COVID-19 pandemic, which inadvertently deepened the chasm in how we connect and express ourselves.

According to an insightful article published in the Eenadu daily newspaper on August 5th, 2025, there's a noticeable struggle among this generation to articulate their feelings in traditional, face-to-face interactions. Think about it: a simple inquiry about a new purchase met with a blank stare, or a serious office briefing met with an equally inexpressive gaze. These non-verbal cues, while perhaps conveying something to their peers, can often leave older generations feeling confused and disconnected.

But does this perceived silence equate to a lack of emotion or a reluctance to communicate? Not necessarily. As another thought-provoking piece, also featured in the same edition of Eenadu under the catchy title "Hey Friends, Why this Kolaveri!", highlights, Gen Z has found a powerful voice in the digital realm. They are taking to social media platforms, particularly video-sharing sites, to openly share their innermost thoughts, anxieties, and daily struggles. These "vlogs," often presented with a raw and confessional tone, become a stage for them to express what they might hold back in person. They dissect their "unnecessary thoughts," lay bare their problems, and seek validation through the virtual nods of "likes" and supportive comments.

The two articles, when viewed together, paint a compelling picture of a generation navigating a unique communication landscape. In the physical world, they might resort to subtle, often ambiguous non-verbal cues. Yet, in the digital sphere, they embrace vulnerability, sharing their lives in a way that can seem almost performative to older generations. We see daily timelines filled with curated emotional snapshots – from the optimistic morning greeting to the late-night melancholic reflection. This online expressiveness stands in stark contrast to the silent interactions witnessed offline.

Perhaps what we are witnessing is not a lack of communication skills, but rather an evolution of how and where communication takes place. Gen Z, immersed in a digital world from their formative years, is fluent in its language. Their "silent stares" might not be an avoidance of connection, but a reliance on a different mode of expression – one that finds its full form in the vast expanse of the internet. It's a reminder that understanding this generation requires us to look beyond traditional communication norms and appreciate the new and evolving ways in which they connect and share their world.

Source: Based on articles from Eenadu daily newspaper, dated 05/08/2025.

🌌 Energy is a Silent Traveller

A poetic reflection on emotion, energy, and unreceived love

1. Poem

Energy is a silent traveller.
It’s never born, never dies — only shifts,
moving form to form like a whisper through time.
But no journey is perfect.
Some of it escapes — unnoticed, unheld —
not because it wasn’t offered,
but because the world wasn’t ready to receive it.

❤️‍🔥 So too is love.
It cannot be forced into being,
nor erased from memory.
It flows from heart to heart like a sacred current.
Yet, not every heart is an open sea.
Some are closed shores.
And so, love lingers — unreceived, unabsorbed —
not because it wasn’t real,
but because it had nowhere to land.

✨ Even the purest light needs eyes to see it.

2. Explanation of the Poem

This poem draws a metaphor between thermodynamic energy and human emotions — especially love and care.
Just as energy can neither be created nor destroyed, feelings too do not appear or vanish randomly. They are transferred from one person to another, but never with perfect efficiency. In scientific processes, some energy is always "lost" — dissipated into the surroundings, unnoticed or unused. Likewise, emotional energy, when shared, is not always received or understood as intended.

This poem explores the heartbreak of one-sided love or care. The core message isn’t about the failure of love, but about the natural reality of human emotional exchange — not all hearts are ready, open, or able to receive what is offered. The absence of response is not always rejection; it may simply be unreadiness, emotional immaturity, or a lack of inner capacity.

3. Message & Advice: For Those Who Feel Unseen in Their Love

To those who feel their love goes unnoticed, or their care is never reciprocated — this poem speaks to you.

Understand this: just like energy, love too follows natural laws. No matter how pure your intentions are, not everyone will be able to receive, understand, or return your love in the way you expect. That doesn’t make your feelings worthless or your actions wasted.

People often give up on relationships or lose faith in themselves because their emotions are not mirrored. But this poem is a gentle reminder:

🌿 The giving itself is meaningful.
🌊 Unreceived love is not failed love — it is simply energy waiting for the right vessel.
☀️ Even light needs the right angle to be seen.

Never give up too early on your relationship or loved ones and rush to replace them.
Instead, understand the natural phenomenon — that readiness and reception take time. Wait with wisdom. What is real may only need the right moment to be truly seen and felt.

Preserve your ability to love, but also learn when to stop pouring into closed vessels. Your energy is sacred — don’t doubt it just because it wasn't absorbed yet.

4. Poem Details

✍️ Title: Energy is a Silent Traveller
✒️ #Author: Kesari Babu
📅 Published: August 2025
🧠 Theme: Emotional entropy, unreciprocated love, human readiness
🧵 Figures of Speech Used:

Metaphor: Love = energy
Personification: Energy as a traveller; love as something that "lingers"
Symbolism: “open sea”, “closed shores”, “light”
Alliteration: “flows from heart to heart”
Imagery: tides, whispers, winds

🎨 Style: Minimalist, lyrical, introspective

#✍️ About the Author

Concept & Original Thought: Kesari Babu
Poetic Structure & Language Refinement: Assisted by AI (ChatGPT)This poem and reflection are born from the personal thoughts and life observations of kesaribabu. The ideas, metaphors, and emotional depth are his own, shaped by lived experiences. The final articulation, formatting, and stylistic structure were refined with the help of AI to bring clarity and poetic fluency to the message — without losing its soul.

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